How things have changed since we were in class together. I hope that we are able to keep in touch with each other if only on a monthly or weekly nature.
I want to wish you all the best and I hope one day we might cross paths again.
I received an email from Dr. Dacher who was the author of Integral Health. He was very nice and pleased our class used his book.

Hmm, Physically I would have to say I am about a six. Part of this is because of the GBS and its limits on my mobility. I have been working on more endurance but I still get tired real fast. I do try to go on a 20-30 min walk each night it is not raining to help unwind.
Spiritually-I am about an 8 or so. I have a strong belief and faith that God is in control-even when I don't understand why he allows something’s or doesn't seem to answer when asked why things have happened the way they do. I know he has my best interest at heart I just have to trust him to let me know when the time is right.
Psychological-mental health-I think I still hover about 5-6. I was constantly told by my mother that I was useless and could not do anything right. Even when both of my parents became ill with cancer (not at the same time), she didn't want me to take care of them because she never felt that nursing was the proper field for me-she didn't trust my abilities. Because nursing was the only time I felt like I could accomplish anything i nearly lost my family/husband because I was spending so much time at work instead of with them. After about two years of counseling with my husband, I have begun to realize that God do not make no junk. He made me just the way I am for a specific reason and I should not listen to anyone (like my mother) who think I am anything other than what I am.
I will do my utmost to continue to grow and one way to do this is to get input from my family. I can ask them at regular intervals if they think I am less anxious than I used to be. I also have made use of the post-it note feature on my computer to help remind me to practice the exercises to help with stress relief.
My most sincere wish is that we can all stay in contact with each other via our blogs. I can see this as a great way for us to follow our progress as we all travel that journey toward integral health. Best of luck to everyone.

Week 9 Final project Hardest so far

Melanietaylor14 HW420-03 final project
1. Introduction:
Integral medicine not only touches on the actual illness but what part of the mind-body, spirit cycle is out of balance. That is the only true way for a cure to be found. Otherwise, we spend our time and energy patching the several problems. Areas that I need work in are my physical status. It remains weakened due to the GBS. Along with this I need to be mindful of my eating habits to continue to make healthy choices-even when I want to snack. The concept of health is not one free of disease. Rather it is all aspect of what makes us human-at peace with itself-mind, body, spirit. As a nurse this means I need to look to all three components for a need for growth in order to not just treat the symptoms but in an effort to cure/prevent the related disease. In order for health/wellness professionals to be adequately prepared to face their day in their field, they first must have a place of wellness within them. That does not mean they will not have bad days or will not react to stressful situations in a bad way. It just means that we will have a method to help us deal with both the stress and face the stresses that our jobs may throw at us. One of the places I still need work has to do with self-esteem issues. I have to keep in mind that I am worthy of being loved by myself. Otherwise, as it says in our text, you cannot love another until you learn to love yourself first (Dacher, 2008).
2. Assessment:
‡ Physically
First on a scale from 1 to 10 (one being crummy and 10 being great), I find I stay around 4-5. Part of this is due to limitations that continue to persist. Part of this is also because I battle long established bad eating habits. When we first started the exercises, I already knew that I was working at a deficit secondary to my physical limitations of the GBS (Guillian Barre Syndrome).
‡ Psychologically
I continue to battle self-esteem/self-worth issues. I feel like a millstone hung around my husband’s neck. I have been fighting this battle for longer than our two classes and will most likely continue fight it. Right now I think I fluctuate between 4-5. Sometimes I’m even as high as a 6 but not often. What I did not realize was just how ‘crippled’ my psychological/spiritual aspect of my life had become. It has not been an easy journey these weeks of class. I have been forced to look at things from my past and deal with the effect they continue to have on my life. Most of them I cannot go into detail with but they centered on the relationship I had with my mother. Before this class, I would have scored my wellness much higher than I do now. Especially since I have been doing the exercises and realize just how much work needs to be done to attain the next level.
‡ Spiritually
Lately I have been felling a bit abandoned by my God. Again I have been denied social security disability. I am left with no medicine for myself or my daughter and sometimes no food for days at a time. If my brother up north didn’t send us money now and then we would have starved a long time ago. Usually I am a 7 or so but lately it has become less. I sometimes feel like I am being punished for some wrong I have committed. I do understand that we all better for the trials we face and overcome-but lately I have nearly reached my breaking point with no hope in sight. With that in mind, I find I still struggle sometimes with the ‘why’ things happen the way they do.

3. Goal development:
‡ Physically
I have a goal of if not losing weight-of not gaining any more. I also have a goal along these lines of maintaining proper diet-eating more veggies and salads. Physically I am working on keeping myself as physically active as my limitations allow. I will continue with my nightly walks with the dog and my daughter. I will continue to go to the local mall to walk there on both floors so that even if the weather is a problem I will be able to get my exercise in. I also (with the doctor’s permission of course) hope to be able to return to our church’s weight room so that I can start some muscle group training. That is something that I really miss and I need the doctor’s okay on it before I can undertake it. I also would like to get back to walking for 20 min on our elevated track at the church. Unfortunately, right now I am unable to climb the steps to get up there but I continue to work toward that goal.
‡ Psychologically
I have the goal of beginning to stop looking at everything as a punishment for some unknown or unremembered wrong. I also have a goal to find one good thing to be thankful for each day. I am continuing to work on the loving-kindness exercise. It seems there are issues that this covers in my past that need to be addressed before I can progress further. I will continue to work at it until it no longer elicits the pain response that it does now.
‡ Spiritually
I have the goal of becoming closer to my God. I have already started to devote time to read the Bible and speck to God each day so that I can return to my former closeness. I also hope to be able to let go of my worries an let Him work His will in my life. I have placed the goal that I should strive to be closer to my Creator and trust that He has my best interest at heart. That He does not allow things to happen to us without a plan in mind so that I should daily search for the meaning or message the He is trying to teach me when setbacks happen.
IV Practices for personal health:
‡ Physical-two exercises
1. Walking-every night that it isn’t raining I plan on walking the dog with my daughter. Right now we are only able to walk once around a short block near our house. I have been trying to walk around the larger block but still find it too fatiguing to do it more than once a week or once every two weeks.
2. Physical Therapy-I will continue to work with my therapist and do the prescribed exercises that they give to me. I will also continue to do my muscle training exercises so that I can retain my function so that whenever the feeling comes back I will be able to make use of my leg muscles.
‡ Psychological-two exercises
1. Reframing-whenever I am greeted with something negative, I will search and ponder until I can find something positive about it. Also I will stop ruminating over those things that I have no control over. I will also make use of HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, and tired) exercise when I am beginning to feel frustrated and anxious. That way should I be able to attribute my frustrations with falling under one of those headings I will first take steps to alleviate them before allowing myself to react to the frustrations.
2. Serenity Prayer-I will ever remember this and how far I have come since I was first awarded my AA coin. I will keep it close and ever remember what it says-finding things to be grateful for even when it seems my life is falling apart. I will also remember to practice my deep breathing exercises so that I can release stress and not allow it to build up to a point that it can become dangerous.
‡ Spiritual-two exercises
1. Meditation-To help me stay centered and grounded I will employ both guided imagery and the Rainbow Meditation to make this possible. To help me be still so that I can more easily hear the words from God. I can also make use of the guided imagery exercise so that I can help keep my mind from staying stuck on past events. It is okay to remember them but we are not supposed to ruminate on them or get stuck in a loop by our past. This guided imagery will help to keep everything in perspective and help me maintain an inner calm-something very needed in today’s stressful world.
2. Prayer-to commune with God and in that exercise help me to give over to Him those things I have no control over. Along with prayer I would also practice gratefulness. With this exercise I would attempt to be grateful for everything that positive that I have instead of focusing on only those things that I may need but do not have. I would also make use of my “worry box” placing a small piece of paper with those things that are out of my control written on it into the box with the admonition I will not ‘take them back’ from the box or attempt to retrieve them into my care because I have given them over to Gods care.
V Commitment:
The way to implement these is to simply do them. To make sure I stay on task, I will in my computer, set reminders that I can check off as I complete. I will need to do this until I have established them as a daily ritual if you will. It is the only way for me to change my old habits into something new and better for my well being. I will also strive to stay in contact with those people who will help me stay on track-those who know I am struggling with these issues and am trying so hard to find some kind of inner peace. After 6 months or so I should become less self critical and looking at everything as a glass 1/2empty. I should feel better physically even though I may not be any stronger. I should not feel so drained or empty. I should be able when I practice the meditation, to let the small things of the day slide off of me like Teflon. I should be aware of them but not be concerned or ruminate about them. The most important thing will be to stay diligent in exercising-at least one strategy in each day. As our text says (Dacher, 2006) we need to “find a quiet time of day and allot 30 min. for this practice [creative visualization]” (p. 144). Each day that we engage in activities that nourish the body, mind, spirit; if we remain diligent we will eventually arrive at a place of peace.


References
Dacher, E. S. (2006) Integral health: the path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publishers
Schlitz, M; Amorok, T; Micozzi, M. S. (2005) Consciousness & healing: integral approaches to mind-body medicine. St. Louis, MO: Elsevier/Churchill Livingstone

Wow, week 8 already

Of the many things we have learned thus far, I think the two that work the best for me are the Rainbow Meditation and reframing. I have set up a reminder in my computer so I can check off when I have done my exercises for the day. I have set this up so I can establish new habits. Only by having a check off list I must at least address every day, I am more aware of the need to follow through and execute them. I also will utilize exercise to help with stress relief.
I already have it set up so I go walking every night that it isn’t raining. To that I have added listening to my meditation each morning to help put me into the right frame of mind. I have started using the breathing exercises when I feel stress starting to become great.

Week 7 exercies...

For this week the exercise on our CD wanted us to find our skilled teacher to be our mentor. He (Dacher) also reminded us that in order to continue our journey toward wellness we needed to be careful to find someone who not only helped us attain relaxation but was also working with us toward inner freedom and peace. The wise healer that resides within us can be named either Asclepius or the subtle mind. It took me a bit to relax enough to get into the exercise but once I did the mentor that I identified with was my maternal grandfather-Dr. Donald M. Green. He was a doctor for both WWI and WWII. He gave me an abiding interest in the medical field. He also encouraged me to read, study and ask why things happened the way they did. He could have been cynical from his war experiences, instead he took it upon himself to make sure that we knew about what had happened at the death camps and not to forget that this could happen again if we ever forgot what led to the first occurrence. The wanted us to sit and commune with this person. At first I had a hard time with this concept as my grandfather had died in 1972 so I haven’t seen pictures of him in a long time. I had to stop the exercise at that point and find a picture of him so I could finish the exercise. Once I had done that I was able to continue. This exercise fostered an increase in psychological/spiritual wellness as it has given me (again) a mentor for working toward this gentleness and peace that radiated from him when he was living. I think that is one of the strongest things I remember from him-he exuded peace and stillness. Through this exercise I have found a way to access a guide so to speak in settling my inner turmoil. The exercise speaks of us taking on the speech of the wise mentor we were envisioning (Dacher-CD, 2006). I had already been doing this as Dr. Green taught us that if you need to use profanity to get a thought across-even if angry-then it illustrates your lack of education through use of such limited vocabulary. When I am really angry, my daughters will tell you, I have adopted a strategy of what they call my poison pen letters. I have developed a way of calling someone an idiot without curse words or being outwardly derogatory. The idea that one cannot lead another where one has not themselves gone illustrates the idea that if you don’t practice these meditative practices or stress relief exercises-you have no reference to teach others with. It also is hard for your potential patients/clients to take what you are saying seriously when you are vibrating around the room or stressing over the least little thing. That doesn’t instill peace in them or teach them how to attain this state when you are exhibiting stress to the nth degree. I think I can implement these kinds of things best at night. During the day I have too many distractions to give it the attention it deserves. I do keep the breathing exercise and HALT handy during the day however, to head stress off at the pass. I already suffer from a few stress related disorders. By that I mean they are aggravated by high stress levels. By employing just these two exercises I have finally gained control over my IBS and have minimized the number of migraines (headaches from Hades) to no more than one a week when before they were one every couple of days. By using the meditations at night I can use them to help unwind my very active mind so it can relax and sleep. In this way, by being less stressed and keyed-up, I will have fewer physical problems as well as a better relationship with my husband, daughter and Creator.
Dacher,E.S. (2006) Integral health: the path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA:Basic Health Publications

week 6 exercise

In doing both the loving-kindness exercise and the assessment process I have come to a better understanding of just where i sit in the scheme of things. Some of what I found I care not to share. Other things I have found were that I sometimes have an inate ability to put people at ease when facing life struggles. I am sure that is part of what makes me a fairly good nurse. I look at each person who I care for as a way to promote human flourishing by alleviating needless pain and suffering. The area that I think needs the most growth and development is the area of self-esteem. Feeling confident in my decisions has never been a strong suit for me. Even when I am working as a nurse, when important decisions need to made I often feel obligated to check with another nurse to see if what I have decided is the proper thing to do. To help with this process I have implamented the Rainbow meditaion as well as HALT and the breathing exercises. I seem to be able to follow these exercises the easiest and so be more apt to follow them over extended periods of time.I know that the assessment was made to help us understand where we needed the most growth but I fonund that some of the exercises did nothing more than dig up sore spots in my life that are better left untouched.

In some respects they were very similar and in others they were different. I found the subtle mind a bit easier to do but that may just as well be because of 'baggage' I have to deal with that the other one has drudged up. Because I understand this one better I think I might be more inclined to teach it to others as well. You know its kinda like one of those things-you know something works so you tell all your friends so they can know about it to?

beginning week four

I have not been able to listen to the CD yet as my CD player decided to glitch. Will be trying to 'borrow' my daughters so I can listen to it. I did however, finish the reading in the book. From the reading I have gleened information that I think is applicable to my practice as a nurse. Our mind is calmer and better candidate for comtemplative practice when we are relaxed. With time and practice there will come a time when loving-kindness will reveal itself as a natural aspect of higher consciousness. All of us have experienced profound kindness, compassion and love for another person. In order to show this to others we must first begin by showing it to ourselves. We cannot share with others what doesn't exist in ourselves. It can be expressed in our thoughts, prayers and advice or through physical assitance and generosity that connects heart to heart. It includes sensitivity, openness to others and their differences, warm heart and qualities fo repect fairness, honesty, patience and acceptance. All too often it is obscured by a calculating mind that assesses the worth of everything and the cost of it to us. When we see that everyone wants happiness and love, we can move/step further and wish this for others. The mind drives our outer actions so the mind is where we must start. Cultivating intension will shift mental attitude from self-centeredness to cherishing others. Once this inner attitude is sufficently stabilized we can begin to practive it in our world. I want to assit others in alleviating needless suffering and gaining happiness. In order to be effective with this I need to learn now to cultivate these characteristics in myself first-only then can I begin to know how to properly share them with others.
Dacher,E.S. (2006). Integral health: the path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA: Basic Health Publications, Inc.

Week four exercises

I have just finished reading our material for this week. I tried the loving-kindness exercise but for some reason could not get past the loving myself part. Everytime I tried to turn the love I felt for others toward myself, I kept coming up with reasons why I wasn't worthy of such feelings or for that much attention.
I will continue with the exercises as this plays into my low self-esteem/worth issues that I have been fighting for years. Who knows, maybe one of these days I'll learn how to even like myself enough to 'let the love flow' as it were.

aggrevation with classes

I have been having a high stress level this week. I used to have a laptop computer that I was able to do most of my class work on -only using the desktop for seminars as my laptop had no sound. Now I can't get it to work so I have to budget time with my daughter who also needs to use it for classwork. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
Sorry, it has just been one of them weeks and my final straw is about to be stepped upon.

Nurses beware

And now Obama is lying to America and saying that the health care bill won't pay for illegal aliens. I can't repeat what I initially said because it had something to do with bovine excrement. I then took a deep breath, remembered that is just Obama's way to try and get votes for HR3200 and not to get that upset. Of course, worrying about whether I am even going to have a place to work once I can go back to work doesn't do much for my current stress level.

well being evaluation

Hmm, Physically I would have to say I am about a 6. Part of this is because of the GBS and its limits on my mobility. I have been working on more endurance but I still get tired real fast. I do try to go on a 20-30 min walk each night it isn't raining to help unwind.
Spiritually-I am about an 8 or so. I have a strong belief and faith that God is in control-even when I don't understand why he allows somethings or doesn't seem to answer when asked why things have happened the way they do. I know he has my best interest at heart I just have to trust him to let me know when the time is right.
Psychological-mental health-I think I still hover about 5-6. I was constantly told by my mother that I was useless and couldn't do anything right. Even when both of my parents became ill with cancer (not at the same time) she didn't want me to take care of them because she never felt that nursing was the proper field for me-she didn't trust my abilities. Because nursing was the only time I felt like I could accomplish anything i nearly lost my family/husband because I was spending so much time at work instead of with them. After about two years of counsuling with my husband, I have begun to realize that God don't make no junk. He made me just the way I am for a specific reason and I shouldn't listen to anyone (like my mother) who think I am anything other than what I am.

Exercise 2

I just could not get into the exercise this week. I don't know if it was because of the stress we are experiencing around the house right now, or the fact I found his voice 'grating on my last nerve' at times. If one more thing goes wrong around our house I may just scream and get it over with. Not having any money, not being able to go back to work and still having to pay hospital/ rehab bills is taking a toll on both my husband and daughter-not to mention me.

What I have learned today

What I have learned today is that HALT really works. I have had to start using a CPAP machine at night because the GBS has led to a problem with my airway when I lay down. For non-medical people a CPAP is continuous positive airway pressure. That means I wear this funky looking nose piece and the machine blows heated/humidified air into my nose all night long.
The first night was okay, but the second one caused my asthma to trigger so I ended up taking it off in the night. I was called by the respiratory therapist who told me that is a common response. At first I was upset that I couldn't get the blasted thing to work after cleaning it and when I stopped to pause (before I forced the issue and broke something) I realized I was hungry and angry so I put it down and after a cup of coffee (half cream/sugar and half coffee- I like a little coffee with my cream [smile]) I returned to it and it worked fine the first time. What I had been doing wrong before was trying to put the nose piece back on upside down.

the new week

Well, we are starting our second week of classes and the first week of the blogging. I have had a very stressful week in that my finances are taking a big hit. I was supposed to be getting some respite from the government yet I still have not received my check. All they can say is the typical 'the check is in the mail'

My picture

This is a picture of me at my last case, caring for my ladies great-grandson while his mom went to the restroom. She just plopped him in my arms on the way by and he stayed like you see him in this picture for about 30 min. I don't think he was over awake when she plopped him in my arms. Now he is almost 2.5 years old and has started talking. My how time flies.

There are so many things being said and being done in the name of improving our government that even our elected leaders are hard pressed to keep up with them. I have a definite problem with any group of leaders who will blindly vote for a bill or policy without reading the entire bill. Now Obama is saying that one of the ways he is going to save money is to limit the number of screening tests that the doctor can order. He seems to think it would be more cost effective to limit these things and treating the diseases [or their side effects].

wake up America or loose your freedom forever

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free." President Ronald Reagan

First seminar is done

I was pleased that the first seminar was so easy to hear. Last class I had with Dr. Fouhy I spent almost the entire time trying to hear her...only to find out my daughter had turned off the speakers on the computer....not happy. I am looking forward to learning things I can pass on to my patients and (after i get my MSN so i can teach) new nurses. I goofed up on the discussion post and put the wrong address...OOPS.

Welcome Kaplan bloggers

Welcome bloggers from Kaplan. I set this up originally when I was taking my IT class at Kaplan. I just updated some things for this class. I am usually not much of a blogger though I do have an account on facebook and twitter but that is so I can stay in contact with my church choir and our preacher.

Getting Started

It has been an intersting week since last semester stopped and this one began. I have had to put a lot of things I learned from HW410 to work as we have been under a lot of stress as a family. I know it will get better but for now my stress level seems to hover around a 7.